The Good News and the Bad News

Today was especially difficult.  My psych appointment this morning was over an hour late, just like my doctor’s appointment yesterday was.

Then we went to H&R Block to file taxes, and waited a long time there.

After that we waited another long period at the bank.

I feel like we spent the whole day sitting in chairs where my feet didn’t reach the ground.

I’ve lost my keys, got intense back pain, and couldn’t focus on anything for more than a few seconds at a time all day.

That’s the bad news.

Here’s the good news:  my tax return was more than expected, so I can pay off my debt  and I also had enough to buy myself a multi-coloured LED mousepad and keyboard combination which is helping me concentrate on the keys enough that I can type this post, and hopefully I’ll also be able to work on my Camp Nanowrimo project next month with greater ease.  The colours are delightful, and worth every penny I spent.  🙂

video of the keyboard


A Happier Way

I don’t want to have to wait to be retired before I can be happy.

I know that I’m planning to save up to go to school, I know that’s a future that I can head towards, but I also feel like there must be a better way to get there- a happier way.

No Pretty Way to Say it

I’m struggling.

I’m struggling with my body, with my mind, with the people around me, and especially with work right now.

My thoughts tend not to form complete sentences anymore, and I loose track of what I’m doing or saying partway through.  There was a time when I wrote a fifteen page essay in twenty minutes and got an A on it- that could not happen now.  It takes me an hour and a half to compose a little rinky dink post like this, and I’m still not satisfied with it.

Professional Imposter 

The weather yesterday was nice.

I didn’t feel the imposter syndrome effect yesterday as much as I did the day before. I’m worried I’ll feel it today because I finished the task I’ve grasped already, and now I’ll have to try and struggle through the rest. I was supposed to get more training tomorrow in overtime, but it’s been cancelled.